Better Living Through Introspection

But only for people who hate games.

It’s like Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom meets The Onion.

For example, take this deer’s review of the iPhone:

Animals have a hard time using high-end mobile phones. I know because I’m a deer, and I’ve owned them all: the Sony Ericsson W810i, the Motorola Q, Samsung’s BlackJack… All nice to look at yet totally unusable by those of us without fingers. That’s why I’m excited about the new iPhone. By replacing the copious buttons found on other cell phones with a large touch screen, Apple has created a device that can be operated by the entire land-dwelling animal kingdom.

…

One feature I am personally looking forward to is iPhone’s access to YouTube videos. Until now, my television viewing has been via the store window of Ace Appliance which means I’m at the mercy of the guy who closes up for the evening. Whatever random channel he leaves the display TVs tuned to is it for the evening. Sometimes I get lucky and get to watch Animal Planet. Other times I’m stuck with the Fox News Channel. With the ability to stream YouTube videos direct to the iPhone, I’ll finally be in control of my nocturnal entertainment. (Goodbye O’Reilly Factor, Hello Andy Kindler and reruns of The Pet Shop. I also like the animal clips on America’s Funniest Home Videos. The old ones with Bob Saget were the best. Whatever happened to him? I heard he started working blue.)

Hilarious, right?

It’s been a busy movie-going week for me. Usually, I wait for the Netflix, but there were two movies that aroused my curiosity enough to lure me out of the house and into theaters.

First, Ratatouille. Being a Pixar movie is no longer enough of a draw (no pun intended) for me — I still haven’t seen Cars, for example. So, if it’s not the animation, what is it that makes this new movie a must-see? Simple: it’s a well-told story about one of my favorite topics, cooking. Realists will shudder at the thought of Disney personifying rats and making them seem like cute cuddly creatures that belong in kitchens, but anyone reading this blog should know by now that the willing suspension of disbelief is de rigueur around here. Accept the possibility that a rat might want to be a chef, and you’ll do fine. Vermin aside, the message of the film is one for kids and adults alike: anyone can cook. And, I think it was delivered in a less saccharine fashion than is normal for this genre. Without giving anything away, I will say one of my favorite moments in the movie were when the artists were able to render taste as light and sound. How else to communicate the passion of food and cooking through a visual medium?

Update: I just came across this concept work from the creator of the taste visualization sequences, Michel Gagné.

Second, Transformers. Now, I was in an older age group when the Transformers originally hit stores and TV, so I missed out on 99.99% percent of the Transformers culture. I knew a few of the names of the Autobots and Decepticons, as well as part of the theme song, but that’s about it. So, unlike some of the haters out there, I had very little in the way of expectations. This allowed me to be completely blown away by the effects that could only have been designed by movie makers from the future. Holy crap, I am not kidding you. The effects alone were worth the ticket price. (As was getting up early to see the 9:30 a.m. screening — maybe ten people in the whole theater, and no kids!)

Now, A Certain Someone claimed that a.) the plot line was thin and b.) there were too many skanky hoes in the movie. I told her a.) robots are going to save the world or destroy it is a good enough plot for me and b.) Megan Fox is not skanky. Granted though, random Aussie chick was a little skeevy. But I totally buy that she worked for the NSA. (Ha!)

Update: IMDB tells me that random Aussie chick is Rachael Taylor.

On a slightly related note, there was a preview for an as-yet unnamed J. J. Abrams project that looked freaking awesome. Not Transformers awesome, but equally awesome in a different, darker way. All I’ve found so far is this site.

Oh, I also saw Ocean’s Thirteen. Not a must-see for the big screen, but much better than Ocean’s Twelve.